by James Moran
“I’m now two hundred kilometers from the vortex.”
“Who are you?”
“I am a Gator Brigade General of Presidential Distinction, adept at manning aircraft, firearms, hand-to-hand combat, and tactical warfare.”
“Who created you?”
“Mars Lumination Colony Twelve.”
“Of what materials were you made?”
“I am part reptile, part machine.”
“What’s your purpose?”
“To defend the human families of Mars Lumination Colony Twelve.”
“What is your current mission?”
“To penetrate the approaching vortex so I may attack and eliminate the driving factor at its center.”
“What do we know about this vortex?”
“Very little. Its winds reach three hundred kilometers per hour.”
“What do we know about its origins?”
“Its origins are unknown. Perhaps it may be a weapon launched from an enemy of Mars Lumination Colony?”
“What are the possible mechanics of the vortex?”
“Unknown. Our most recent intelligence has failed to locate the driving factor creating the vortex.”
“What is the purpose of the vortex?”
“Unknown. However, if it reaches Colony Twelve, the colony will most likely be destroyed. I’ve reached the outer limits of the vortex. Adjusting speed and direction to spiral into the vortex while still maintaining control. Evasive action-ready.”
“What is the source of this voice that is currently questioning you?”
“The voice is that of my higher processes.”
“Why is this voice questioning you?”
“In planning this mission, there had been some concern regarding the ability of the vortex to disorient my functioning. Therefore, an internal-systems cross-check in the form of this questioning was instituted.”
“How deep have you penetrated into the vortex?”
“One third of its radius.”
“Are you able to maintain control of the craft?”
“Yes, though the speed of the craft has been fluctuating. Generally, it’s increasing. I’ve been unable to decrease the speed. I’m currently attempting to match the increases in speed with increases in my navigational efforts.”
“Are you able to maintain nimbleness of movement?”
“I’m not. I’m altogether pressed beneath increasing g-forces. My reptilian strength is challenged but sustaining. Maneuvering is becoming increasingly difficult. I hear a noise, like metal tearing, though I read no damage to the ship. Maintaining my orientation is difficult.”
“At this critical stage, this line of questioning must continue to maintain your alertness. Who is questioning you right now?”
“My own higher processes.”
“So, a part of you is questioning yourself?”
“Yes. You’re that part and should confirm that answer.”
“So, this voice is the same as the voice that just said ‘yes’ and will again say ‘yes’ right now?”
“Yes. Maintaining control is becoming increasingly difficult. Thankfully I’ve penetrated almost two-thirds of the radius into the vortex.”
“Therefore, the one who asks the question already knows the answer?”
“Yes. I’m not sure how much longer I can bear this g-force and the spinning and the noise.”
“For instance, this voice that asks how deep you’ve penetrated into the vortex knows the answer to be two-thirds of the radius of the vortex?”
“Yes.”
“Then why would the colonists institute this line of questioning if the questioner and the questioned are the same?”
“To defend the vulnerable against that which lies at the center of the vortex.”
“Which is an answer that I know because I said it. So why would I need to question myself if I know the answers to every question?”
“Because the colonists need defending from that which is at the center of the vortex.”
“And what is at the center of the vortex?”
“Something unknown.”
“So, to defend them against something unknown I’ve been questioning myself?”
“Yes. As I spin faster than I’ve ever spun before, in the shadow of something unknown, I’ve been questioning myself in the hopes of defending the vulnerable.”
“This is an answer that I know because I’m the one who said it.”
“Yes. Just as I know that I’m preparing to enter the center of the vortex now.”
“Wouldn’t it make sense, in the presence of the unknown, for me to not question myself? Since, as I ask this question, I’m aware that the answer is ‘yes,’ it makes sense for me, in defense of those who are vulnerable, to not only not question myself but to remain silent and alert, and, yes, I know the next part because I’m the one saying it: aware, as I’m entering into the center of this vortex and experiencing the unfathomable stillness here.”
~
Bio:
James Moran is a professional astrologer and author who regularly publishes fiction, nonfiction and poetry. His published work can be found at https://jamesmoran.org/the-creation-playpen and he can be found on instagram @astrologyjames.
Philosophy Note:
I’m not sure where this story came from. I just sat down and started writing. Perhaps my thoughts came together as the two voices of the narrator came together. My fiction tends to wrestle with themes of ego vs transcendence. Dostoevky’s ability to wrestle with these themes in “A Strange Man’s Dream” makes that short story the greatest work of western literature, in my opinion (I particularly like the Malcome Jones translation).
